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gideon

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The nature of (my) calling

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A calling is a hard thing to articulate. It’s extremely personal, hard to describe, hard to explain – but harder still to dismiss.

Photo: floeschie, reused under CC license

And yet it is crucial to be able to do so; because if your calling is to the ministry, you will find people coming to you with a drive to test their own calling. Because you will want to explain to friends what you’re living. Because it will puzzle others. Because, ultimately, it is an awesome thing to share.

But the truth of it is, there appears to be no formula for callings; there is no constant in there. Which makes it incredibly hard to know in our minds as well as in our hearts that we are called; because there is no pattern to test our calling against.

Some callings are of an extraordinary, precise and unmistakable nature. S/Paul, on the road to Damascus, had a great and life-changing experience. Gideon was called out of a quiet life by an angel.
Some are more subtle. Samuel got called three times before recognising the Lord and his calling. Some, but not all, are made through people – Saul, Elisha are examples; and to an extent Gideon’s calling.
A lot of callings lead to massive changes in the lives of the called (both Sauls, Gideon, Elisha, etc.) but some happen to people who are already in the temple (Samuel).

The only constant is that once the nature of the calling was established and accepted, there was no doubting it. There was a strong resolve to do whatever needed doing to serve.

This is encouraging and daunting at the same time. Encouraging, because it means that if I commit to the ministry for life, it will be a deeply satisfying decision. Daunting, because it feels like there’s no getting out. A relief too, because there’s nothing I can do about it.

My calling wasn’t spectacular. It started out as a feeling last September – a series of tiny nudges in the direction of ministry; combined with a series of advertised opportunities to grow in that direction. When I reached the stage where I took it seriously, and prayed about it, that feeling was fed and grew. When I started going for the opportunities given to me, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. My prayer turned from “Is this real?” to something akin to Samuel’s “speak, Lord, for your servant is listening”. And I’ve taken things one at a time since. I’ve shared this with close friends, and with my own Elis. At this stage, I’m serene and trusting that, if this is God’s calling for me, it will lead to the ministry. Like many, however, I still sometimes momentarily doubt whether I’ve not just made a massive mistake; but quickly realise that these are just insecurities about my own abilities, and am quickly brought back to the confidence in my calling.

If you’re in ministry or planning to go into the ministry, what was your calling like?

What would your advice for people who are feeling called (including me) be?

It’s ok to be afraid

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Some of the Bible’s most encouraging verses tell us not to be afraid – that God is with us. Some argue the fear of God is the only good fear.

This can lead people to a feeling of inadequacy or worthlessness.

Leaders, especially, should not be afraid… because they know they can rest on the Lord, and should set a good example of a peaceful heart. And they should exhort their followers to show no fear and a complete boldness in everything they undertake.

Wrong.

Image: Wil Wheaton, reused under CC license

God knows us perfectly. He knows our fears, and he knows how to deal with them if and when appropriate. Look at what he says to Gideon:

“But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant.” (Judges 7:10, ESV).

Gideon does not try to look tough in front of God. He does not try to pretend he’s not afraid. He takes God’s advice, acknowledges his own fear and goes down to the camp.

In the same way, we should not try to pretend we’re not afraid: it can only lead to that fear taking hold of us, or to a feeling of undue pride and self-importance.

Conversely, though, we should recognise when our “fear” is a lie. When it is simply disguising laziness or fickleness in front of a decision. The fact that God knows us and loves us and is on our side means that he will deal with our fear, if it is real, in due time.

Ever since I started to feel a call towards ministry, I have felt the fear that I was mistaken. That I wouldn’t be up to the task. God has dealt with that fear, in many various ways (including making me stumble upon a few great bloggers – thanks Ben; and including leading me to certain parts of Scripture). But still now, I sometimes feel like I’m afraid to make the wrong decision. That fear is a lie – it is simply a way for me to justify putting off decisions; and recognising it helps.

Which of your fears are lies? Which are real?